something’s underfoot

by Jacqui

Something’s underfoot, but I can’t quite name it. Call it a yearning, one that’s lit from within, the kind that I know well enough by now not to ignore. These yearnings have come before, at different degrees. Some I’ve followed, some I’ve waited out. Some have materialized while others have led the way to something unrelated, at least to the naked eye. Sometimes I’m tired of the soul searching, yet sometimes I feel that this the beginning of acceptance – an acceptance of perpetual motion, of a rod forever casting out and reeling in its line. A big challenge, I think, is to find contentment with life as it is, while at the same time following the instinct to either adjust, replenish, or get the hell out of dodge.

The problem with the Internet is that it allows anyone to publish anything. In my own case, this problem has been a good one, for without it, I might not have started writing. My family and close friends read this, and so I hold myself accountable. I have a responsibility to be honest and to follow through with what goes up here. I don’t take the opportunity lightly.

Perpetual motion. I believe in it. I believe in constantly moving forward, regardless of how small the steps. To get out of bed in the morning is to move forward. Offering a kind word to someone you’d rather ignore – moving forward. Deciding that the people who piss you off the most are probably going to do you the most good, maybe not directly, but maybe by causing you to stop and think about your own contribution to the relationship, and to other relationships, too – that’s moving forward. Knowing when to give up, let go, quit – however you prefer – is usually a sign of progression. Asking for help can be a challenge, but in the name of forward motion, that’s exactly what I’m gearing up to do.

I want to find a mentor, a professional mentor with writing experience. This post is more of a declaration so that I am held accountable for reaching out to people, asking for help, and admitting that yes, I do want to write. I hope that by the end of the year, I’ll have met someone. By that time, I hope that you’ll have met at least one person who inspires you, too.

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